Early Child Development
Homo Prevention Tips

1. A boy must not sit on a toilet
unless he is having a bowel movement.
Standing straight up, not hunched over
while urinating, is a
sign of manliness. Squatting on a toilet
seat (especially if he hovers to avoid the
urine of others or prissily wipes the seat
with a square of toilet tissue) to pee is not
only effeminate but a sign of shame! It is a
secret hobby that homosexuals use in their daily
lives. It is a scientific fact that when
needing
to use the restroom, a male is called upon
to engage
in the unpleasant undertaking of extruding a poopy in
only 1 out of every 3 visits. But homosexuals use all
three visits to practice squatting, to limber
the cheeks of their bottom in preparation
for even the most enormous (Negro) penises.
Such calisthenics are neither necessary nor
advisable for men who have no intention of squatting over an engorged
penis. As soon as your child is able to walk
on two feet, you must make that sure he is
taught to stand proudly in front of a private
or public toilet seat, and to speak not a
word, especially in response to the coy whispers
of Catholic priests in the next stall.

2. A boy must eat everything on his plate.
But if your son pesters you to serve corn
on the cob, hot dogs or sausages, that is
your signal to change his diet. Try serving
meals that more effectively evoke a
hankering for the fragrant delights of the
female genitalia. An artichoke stuffed with
tuna fish will usually do the trick.

3. A boy must always wear socks, except while
swimming. So-called, "flip-flops" and
"sandals," where the toes and ankles are exposed
are products that were created during the
(homo)sexual revolution. Creation research
indicates that these types of provocative "shoes,"
were invented by homosexuals in San Fransissyco
during the late 1960's with fetishes for little
boy ankles. Thwart the perverted delight of these
pedo-pedophiles with a thick pair of tube socks!

4. A boy must not be allowed
to watch cartoons
of any kind. He should spend
Saturday mornings
sitting quietly by his Father's
side (with a
respectful 3" between the male bodies)
, watching
sports that don't involved male
leotards.
He must watch Football, Basketball,
Baseball
and Boxing. Soccer is not a sport for
civilized people and often results in
alarminglyl ong, uncut penises escaping
from
very alluring
satin shorts. Soccer appeals only to
poor, uneducated halflings from
underdevelopedcountries where the
women grow mustaches
twice as fast
as the men. Make your child aware of this.
When there are no sports on TV, take your boy
out in the backyard and throw the football or
play catch with a very hard baseball. Under no
circumstances: wrestle in shorts, especially
if your son is strapping, handsome and sporting
a noticeably turgid crotch.

5. A boy must not play with dolls. If your boy
has a young sister, forbid him from entering her
room except for the purposes of the type of
ordinary heterosexual experimentation that occurs
in any Christian household. If you catch your male
child playing with dolls, Landover Baptist Child
Psychologists recommended that you shave his head,
and sit him out at the end of the driveway with a
sign around his neck that says, "I'm a Sissy Boy
Who Plays With Dolls – Mailman: Why don't you just
go ahead and stick something in my mouth?." This
method of prevention has a 99.5% success rate
(unless your particular mailman is young and attractive).

6. A boy must not refer to his parents as "Mommy" or
"Daddy." As soon as your boy is old enough to speak,
he must be taught to call his Mother, "Ma," or
"Momma" or "Mommie Dearest." When addressing his
Father, he should refer to him as, "Sir," "Dad,"
or "Commander." "Mommy" and "Daddy" are what fey,
spoiled boys weaned on effeminacy coo, embarrassing
you in front of the neighbors by never keeping the
palms of their hands below their waists.

7. A boy must always wear thick, white underwear.
White boxers, and/or briefs are acceptable. Your
child must be taught that men who wear colored
underwear or undergarments that are cut within
one inch of the outer periphery of their pubic
region or the trough of the valley between the
cheeks of their bottom are either European or
Homosexual – and in America there is no
difference between the two.

8. A boy must never cry or pout. Crying, pouting
or showing feelings are weak and feminine traits.
After the natural
tears of infancy, brought on by a child's traumatic
exit from the spiritual realm of Heaven, to the
horrible shock every young man experiences in
seeing his very own mother's hairy, dilated vagina,
and into this Devil run world we call, "Earth,"
your boy must be taught to stop crying. It usually
takes a normal child several weeks to get over its
birth – even when using daily submersions into
ice-water.If your child is still crying after three
weeks, please drop him off at the Creation Science
Laboratory for the remainder of the year and for a
determination of whether he is worth having back.

9. A boy must not use brightly colored crayons
or any crayons from any colors of a rainbow.
Christian parents should remove and destroy any
suspiciously colored crayons from their boy's
box of Crayolas. This needs no explanation, as
we here at Landover Baptist are all familiar
with Mr. Crayola's so-called "alternate lifestyle,"
and his reason for putting "Pansy Pink" and
"Engorged Penis Head Purple" into his boxes are
quite obvious. A boy must also draw in straight
lines. Some curves are fine, but if you suspect
your child of "doodling," and see that he is using
more curves than straight lines, please call your
Pastor immediately.

10. A boy must not skip or prance. You must not
allow your boy to attend any school where they
teach the children to "skip," or play "hopscotch"
in Physical Education class. Creation Scientists
have proved that such activities are the precursor
to cross-dressing, appreciation for poetry, a
sardonic display of irony and the rampant
shoplifting of skin care products.